10 Reversing the taps
As the temperature creeps up, there is an annual changing of the taps. It won’t be too long before hot becomes cool and cold becomes unbearably hot on shower dials and bathroom sinks across the city. The quirk of taps that sees water heaters switched off for at least three months of the year, is one of many signs that summer is coming, and coming soon.
9 Coats in the office
The irony is, of course, that higher temperatures mean cardigan season is almost upon us. Although it seems hot enough for you to melt, air conditioning units are set to record low levels, meaning offices are full of shivering, sneezing, snuffly workers wearing fingerless gloves, scarves and woolly jumpers.
8 Empty beaches
On the plus, beaches are close to empty between 8am and 8pm. If you’re foolish enough to join the occasional tourist, you have a bath-like sea, sand on the verge of becoming magma and entire stretches of beach to enjoy unpestered.
7 Sweats in the city
It almost defies mathematical belief, but the evidence is there for you to calculate the formula yourself. If the distance from where you parked your car or exited a taxi to the entrance of the building you are about to enter is greater than around 15 metres, you will arrive at your destination soaked in sweat. Not just mildly moistened, but clothes clinging to your back, liquid visibly dripping off you and forming a puddle, soaking wet. This will obviously become icy cold when being hit by the A/C, so make sure you carry spare clothes at all times.
6 Steamy sunglasses
The formula is much simpler for calculating how far you can go before shades steam up. One step usually does the trick. We quite like observing the ritual of visitors charging outside before being temporarily blinded as they run
into a wall of heat that renders shades unwearable.
5 Beware the buckle
No matter how shaded the parking spot was when you left your car, if you have been away from it for more than an hour, it will have been baking the upholstery. There is no hotter surface known to modern man than a seat belt buckle that has been slow-cooked during Doha’s summer. It is a supporting scientific fact that the absent-minded driver who accidentally sits on one is the fastest moving land animal on the planet as they leap in the air at sheer surprise of the sudden branding.
4 Frizzy hair
We don’t know what 95 percent humidity means from a meteorological point of view, but we do know what it looks like. Hair is volumised with a good six inches of extra-folicular activity as it takes on a life of its own. While it may seem a previously stylish friend has decided to start wearing a hairy helmet to work, it is probably the tamest summer look they will manage, so just get used to it.
3 Thermometer pictures
Scorch season means one of our favourite social media quests begins. The race to record and share the highest temperature on a car thermometer will be a three-month sport played by the entire city. Points go to the first people to get snaps of 40°C and 45°C plus a special mention to anybody getting 50°C on record.
2 Territorial shift
Grabbing the seat on the outdoor terrace at dinner time will be less important. In fact, anybody making advance reservations will demand to be seated as far away from the lovely view and calling in favours to ensure they’re sat near the salad bar and toilets just to avoid the reverse draught of hot air every time a door opens.
1 Sticky and stinky
Be prepared for everything to get a little bit sticky. If you venture out to pick up food, you should know it will sweat as much as you do on the walk back indoors. Even buildings sweat, as condensation pours down the walls. Invariably, this will be the precise time your A/C stops working. Oh, you might want to stock up on extra deodorant as well. Especially if travelling on public transport.
Will Milner is a regular contributor. He has been known to keep his underwear in the freezer.