I think spa treatments must be like olives. Once you’ve had fourteen, you just want more and more. The only problem is that my spa experiences now count to three, so I’ve got a way to go yet.
I remember eating my first olive – vividly. I thought I was going to throw up. I tried a black one – (someone told me they’re not quite as rank). It was repulsive. So I deigned never to try another one of those bitter, bizarre tasting things again.
Fate meant I tried more. Olive tapenade can easily be mistaken for something else, and once or twice I’ve munched on one hidden in a pizza. And then there was that time I did it for a dare (rock on, me)! and the couple of times I’ve been so hungry that’s it’s either been an olive or my hand that gets nibbled on.
On what I calculate to be the fourteenth time of having an olive, something magical happened. The taste… was bearable. I had another – it tasted slightly better. Then another – it was alright. Then I began to like black olives. Really like them! I’d had my initiation, now it was time to move onto the green ones. And once you truly appreciate a good green olive, black ones are always disappointing in comparison. Olive fourteen, you changed my life.
Anyway, I love olives now, but I’m still yet to love spa treatments. I have another eleven to go. Getting rubbed all over is a new thing for me. Back in the UK, getting slapped around a bit, having mud thrown on you and being unable to move are the signs of a good night out. Spa treatments are reserved for the rich and famous. And also for those la-di-da types who live on a cloud. So imagine my surprise at finding spa treatments are a popular pastime in Doha.
They are supposed to relax you, but I find them utterly stressful. And, to be honest, boring. While someone is beating me up and I am paying for it, I don’t want to hear that wishy-washy whale and waves music playing in the background. And I have another spa treatment booked soon. One word… trepidation.
After that, ten more to go before my life is changed forever.
Patrick Hulbert is the editor of Time Out Doha. If you ever want to give him a gift, we suggest a plate of olives (green ones).
