Be afraid, be very afraid: Killers distributor Lionsgate has taken the unusual step of ensuring its Ashton Kutcher/Katherine Heigl-starring rom-com isn’t seen by critics before the release date, with a statement from the studio insisting the move was a unique marketing strategy that would ‘give the opportunity to moviegoing audiences and critics alike to see Killers simultaneously’. Which basically means: it stinks, and they know it.

It’s unsurprising, considering the film is yet another uninventive ‘Franken-rom-com’, this time stitching together box-office disasters such as Mr and Mrs Smith and My Mom’s New Boyfriend. A whirlwind romance ends in marriage but, unbeknown to the wife (Heigl), the husband (Kutcher) is an ass-kickin’ CIA agent. Then it turns out one of the couple’s friends is an assassin sent to kill them. If you’re not yet feeling uninspired, bear in mind that Kutcher is one of the most charmless leading romantic boy-men to ever sully our screens, while Heigl lumbers from one audience-repelling stink pile to the next (remember The Ugly Truth?). That and the studio’s lack of confidence considered, we’re willing to bet this would be Dhs30 badly spent.