On a South Carolina beach, a reticent GI Joe (Channing Tatum) on temporary leave meets a rich girl (Amanda Seyfried), and the duo instantly ignites sparks – Nicholas Sparks, that is. Another achingly earnest adaptation from one of the chick-lit superstar’s formulaic weepies (The Notebook, A Walk to Remember), Chocolat director Hallström’s tastefully old-fashioned melodrama has one objective: yanking gallons of cathartic tears out of your face by any means necessary.

After several heart-swelling weeks together, the two vow to reunite after the soldier’s tour of duty ends, leaving the art of letter writing to stoke their flames of passion. Wet-duct tricks include more autism, cancer, 9/11 shocks and bittersweet heartbreak than you can shake a handkerchief at. Given its literary pedigree, most viewers are preordained to love or loathe it.